Conform, Consume, Obey: Tweets Of The Week

This week's selection includes a couple of chortles, and more than the odd reference to the London 2012 Olympic Games.

Standing barefoot on a plug is a great way of discovering you can do an impression of a chimp lowering itself into a really hot bath.
— Chris (@ChribHibble) July 30, 2012

I have just achieved a personal best in the Men's 750 ml Merlot.
— cluedont (@cluedont) July 31, 2012

We're nothing if we're not loved. When you meet somebody who is more important to you than yourself,that has to be the most important thing.
— Joe Simpson (@TouchingTheVoid) August 1, 2012

I made a ventriloquist's dummy out of some old carpet, it's ruggish.
— Neil (@_Enanem_) August 1, 2012

Don't know why people are surprised that Cam's presence at Olympic events is jinxing British success. Have they not noticed his stint as PM?
— Sir Robin Bogg (@robinbogg) August 2, 2012